"Regardless, since graduation I’ve been insanely hard on myself. With everything. Because I haven’t attained any life goals yet as I expected and hoped, I’ve had a hard-on for perfecting my every action, relationship, personal flaw and situation. To top it off, I’ve been constantly trying to please everyone that is involved with my life; friends, family, co-workers…
I’m starting a new job and as yet another thing at which I want to excel, the thought of screwing up at all scares the pulp out of me. I’m always nervous I’m going to trip, make a mistake or misjudge something. I understand we all make mistakes but I can’t help thinking that during this point in my life I can’t make mistakes. I can’t get it out of my head that even the smallest glitch in the process could screw up a friendship, a job, an opportunity…anything. Somehow, I’m hard on myself because in order to please me, I have to please others or the goals others expect me to reach. Doesn’t that seem silly? Why do I feel like I need to go through other outlets to find personal satisfaction?
In the whirlwind brain slosh that are my worries, I rip myself apart on a daily basis. I have so many stress zits, and the skin on my fingernails looks like a battlefield. I’m constantly holding my own personal evaluations, judging how well I’m doing.
I think the constant pressure to be perfect has something to do with being truly independent for the first time. In college, I was surrounded by others. Although I thought I was all on my own, I really had a collective group of people to help define who I was. After college, I have myself and it’s up to me and me alone to make my now and my future happen. That puts a lot of pressure on one young and ruthlessly determined human being. I no longer have others to aid in accomplishing goals; I have my single self to worry about and that’s the scariest thing in the world.
I recently learned about the French tradition to celebrate what other people consider your flaws. They can be physical flaws, or even emotional flaws. For example, if you’re short you should wear flats and embrace something others don’t necessarily view as beautiful. When I do this and embrace my flaws, I no longer worry. I no longer waste my time and emotional energy to consider what others think about my differences, constantly try to change them, or feel the relentless need to please others with my accomplishments and decisions. I shouldn’t be afraid to have flaws or admit them; they define who I am, not anyone else.
We learned this in grade school, peepsies. Take it from Alice and Wonderland:
“You cannot live life to please others, the choice must be yours; because when you step out to fight that creature, you will step out alone.”via College Candy.
“So they wanna cut everything form family care to prenatal care to child nutrition. It’s like the Republican Congress is saying ‘You can’t prevent an unwanted child; you can’t get care if you do get pregnant; and we won’t give you any help feeding the kid after it’s born. But that two minutes when that skull is crowning? Your baby is the most precious thing on Earth.’”—JON STEWART, on the GOP’s wholesale attack on women, women’s health programs, reproductive rights and, again, women, on The Daily Show (via informate)
Every 150 days space150 rebrands itself. As part of that exercise our Brand Planning group interviews people around the agency to see what are the most important events of the last 150 days and predict how that will affect the most important events of the upcoming 150 days.
The uprising in Madison is symptomatic of a simmering rage among the nation’s teachers. They have grown angry and demoralized over the past two years as attacks on their profession escalated.
The much-publicized film “Waiting for Superman” made the specious claim that “bad teachers” caused low student test scores. A Newsweek cover last year proposed that the key to saving American education was firing bad teachers.
Teachers across the nation reacted with alarm when the leaders of the Central Falls district in Rhode Island threatened to fire the entire staff of the small town’s only high school. What got their attention was that Secretary of Education Arne Duncan and President Obama thought this was a fine idea, even though no one at the high school had been evaluated.
The Obama administration’s Race to the Top program intensified the demonizing of teachers, because it encouraged states to evaluate teachers in relation to student scores. There are many reasons why students do well or poorly on tests, and teachers felt they were being unfairly blamed when students got low scores, while the crucial role of families and the students themselves was overlooked.
Teachers’ despair deepened last August when The Los Angeles Times rated 6,000 teachers in Los Angeles as effective or ineffective, based on their students’ test scores, and posted these ratings online. Testing experts warn that such ratings are likely to be both inaccurate and unstable, but the Times stood by its analysis.
Now conservative governors and mayors want to abolish teachers’ right to due process, their seniority, and — in some states — their collective bargaining rights. Right-to-work states do not have higher scores than states with strong unions. Actually, the states with the highest performance on national tests are Massachusetts, Connecticut, New Jersey, Vermont, and New Hampshire, where teachers belong to unions that bargain collectively for their members.
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